Interruptions and Distractions
by Lilybet
Summary: When two of the Marauders spot their favourite victim only one thing can occur - mayhem. Completely random. JPLE


**Setting: Marauder era, 4th year.**

**Disclaimer: If owned them I'd be rich and famous. If.**

xxxxxxx

"Okay so we've tried a flower petal shower..." said James as he walked through the corridors of Hogwarts with Sirius Black at his side.

"Shame that they were hemlock flowers."

"A chocolate surprise..."

"If you call sitting on them a surprise."

"A song outside her window..."

"Maybe the best of The Beatles was a bad idea," Sirius mentioned, "Considering she likes The Who."

"And last week the dozen doves each dropping a pure red rose."

"And the rest."

"Will you stop pointing out the flaws in my otherwise perfect plans, Padfoot?" James said, getting increasingly irate at the constant interruptions.

"Until you come up with a plan that does not have a flaw in it Prongs, I consider it my duty to point them out." responded Sirius, his trademark grin on his face.

The two boys turned the corner and spied their favourite victim lounging in a corner a pile of books by his side. Completely oblivious to the pranksters now whispering ideas on possible humiliations Severus Snape flicked his wand in a slashing motion before scribbling something in the book in his lap.

"We did that last week," the taller boy hissed, "How about something a little more permanent?"

"Like what?"

"Like..." Sirius ran a hand through his perfect hair, "That linguistic spell Moony found!"

"What linguistic spell? You know he keeps finding new weird spells the whole time."

"Just distract him."

Walking out from their hiding place James strode noisily in their victim's direction. At the footsteps Severus jumped up and pulled out his wand.

"Potter," he sneered, "What do you want?"

"Can't a guy walk down a corridor without getting accosted any more, Snivellus?" James looked pointedly at the wand aimed at his chest.

"You never _just_ walk Potter," Snape said with venom, "And where's your groupies? Hiding somewhere?"

"How rude," James smirked knowing it would set the Slytherin on edge, "I decide to take a stroll round the castle and I get accosted and insulted. You really should learn some manners, Snivellus" Pulling out his wand he flicked it lazily sending Snape tumbling backwards as he tried to defend himself.

From round the corner Sirius sniggered as he took advantage of Snape's preoccupation with the boy who was now sending numerous curses and jinxes his way. Whispering the aforementioned spell under his breath he saw the pile of books glow blue under its effect. Job done he sauntered round the corner putting on his best surprised expression as he saw the duel underway.

"Need any help there Prongs?" he enquired.

"Black," Snape hissed between curses, "I knew you wouldn't be far behind."

"Shut up Snivellus," said James, and taking advantage of Sirius's appearance followed up his curse with "Stupefy."

Promptly the other boy fell down to the floor unconscious, wand rolling away from his limp hand. Stepping over the body James looked down at the pile of books, "So. What does that spell of Moony's do?"

"Have a look," suggested Sirius, a cheeky grin on his face.

Picking up a random advanced potions textbook James flicked through the pages.

"Okay, so this would be incomprehensible to me anyway, but I assume that it's not supposed to be in...is that Sanskrit?"

"I think so," said the other Marauder looking over his shoulder, "Well, I don't think our good friend here can read that."

"That should be fun for him when he wakes up," James laughed, "Especially when he tries to explain it to Madam Pince."

Walking on, after stepping over the unconscious form of Severus Snape, the two boys continued their journey.

"So...where were we?" mused James.

"You were going on about Evans again."

"Oh, that wonderful Lily-flower," James sighed.

"You've got that soppy look again," Sirius warned.

"No I don't."

"Yes. You do."

The arguing of the two boys could be heard for a long time after they had vanished out of sight, though by the time Snape finally roused from his induced stupor the voices could no longer be heard. Rolling over he groaned, knowing that he'd have a few more bruises from his untimely fall. He gathered up all his stuff and limped down the corridor to the library; the least likely place to run into the pair again.

Gently he placed the tomes he had borrowed on the main desk, watching as Madam Pince, the librarian, noted down which books had been brought back in.

"I believe this is yours." She held out a note that had been sticking out of one of the lower books which Snape had forgotten to remove, "I'll just check if you left any more." she said kindly.

Opening the book released a look of horror on to the elderly lady's face, "What have you done to this book Mr. Snape?" her voice quivering with fear.

"What do you mean Madam Pince? I never write in books you kn..." Snape trailed off seeing what the woman was seeing. The book was written in some archaic language, Sanskrit by the looks of it, which it hadn't been before. "I don't know anything about that I swear. It wasn't like that when I opened it last!"

But Madam Pince wasn't paying any attention, she was busily going through the rest of the books Snape had brought in with him, the look of horror slowly mutating to anger.

xxxxxx

The last thing that James and Sirius expected to see that day as they were making their way into the Great Hall for dinner, Remus and Peter by their sides, was their favourite target being chased across the entrance and out into the grounds by an irate elderly lady.

"What have you two done now?" Remus sighed, having noticed the identical grins on both the dark-haired boys' faces.

"Us, Moony?" smirked Sirius,

"We haven't done a thing." James mirrored.

"You're the one who found the spell after all." Sirius explained as he bounced into the Hall and out of the werewolf's long reach.

"Sirius..."

xxxxxxx

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